My blog for personal posts

I always get this feeling that you hate me and it’s probably really dumb because I get this feeling based off the things you don’t do rather than the things that you actually do.

I really hope that I’ll have really awesome friends in college. I mean, how nice would it be to have friends with a lot of common interests. But I guess we don’t necessarily have to have common interests because in high school my group of friends were all really different from each other and we were still really good friends. I think the only quality that you kind of have to have in order to be a really good friend of mine is you have to be a nerd in one way or another. I think that’s something that I learned this year.

I rarely realize how lucky I really am. I retain and understand most information pretty easily. I rarely study for tests and I’ve gotten through 12 years of public education with only 2 Bs (both in weighted classes). I honestly don’t think I’m that smart but maybe it’s just because I see the things I say and the things I learn as simple but that’s probably just my brain.
But maybe in college all this will change. Maybe I’ll actually have to work really hard to get good grades (not that I didn’t work hard in high school because I definitely did). But I’ve heard that you’re basically expected to teach yourself and study a lot in college. Hopefully I can handle it and hopefully I’ll have people who can help me and we can all help each other Idk

I don’t cuss much. Usually when I do it’s not really on purpose, it just kind of slips out. Tbh the most I cuss is probably on Tumblr because no one says anything about it. One time I said “badass” on Twitter like 3 years ago and a leader from my church was like “oh my gosh you just said a bad word! Who is your leader?!” as if I had just joined a gang or something. And sure I know that most people don’t really expect me to talk like that but I absolutely hate it when people act like me cussing is such a horrible or even surprising thing. I don’t know if why I get annoyed by this makes sense to anyone else but if I cuss in front of you and you say “Omg I didn’t know you cuss” or something like that I won’t say anything but I’ll be annoyed.
I used to not cuss because I knew it wasn’t really me and I didn’t want to conform with what everyone else was doing but now I don’t just because I hate how some people react.

I don’t cuss much. Usually when I do it’s not really on purpose, it just kind of slips out. Tbh the most I cuss is probably on Tumblr because no one says anything about it. One time I said “badass” on Twitter like 3 years ago and a leader from my church was like “oh my gosh you just said a bad word! Who is your leader?!” as if I had just joined a gang or something. And sure I know that most people don’t really expect me to talk like that but I absolutely hate it when people act like me cussing is such a horrible or even surprising thing. I don’t know if why I get annoyed by this makes sense to anyone else but if I cuss in front of you and you say “Omg I didn’t know you cuss” or something like that I won’t say anything but I’ll be annoyed.
I used to not cuss because I knew it wasn’t really me and I didn’t want to conform with what everyone else was doing but now I don’t just because I hate how some people react.

You need to stop.

I think next year if we are really good friends (I will be really sad if we aren’t because even if I set aside the fact that I have a huge crush on you, we have a lot in common and you’re a cool guy) and if I think that it’s very possible that you like me too then I will just straight up tell you that I like you and take a chance. But I’m kind of hoping it doesn’t have to come to that and that if you do like me then you will actually do something about it. 

Idk is it bad that I’m kind of being so traditional here? I mean about the whole guy has to ask the girl… idk

YOU ARE PERFECT TO ME AND I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE SO STOP DOUBTING YOURSELF AND ASK ME OUT OR SOMETHING i mean only if you like me too idk that would be pretty cool

I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU AND YOU MAKE ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF BUT YOU ALSO MAKE ME HAPPY AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW IT. WHY. WHY ARE WE BOTH SO AWKWARD AND SHY WHEN IT COMES TO THIS. ALL I CAN DO IS IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES OF THIS UPCOMING SCHOOL YEAR BUT THE POSSIBILITY OF IT NOT HAPPENING MAKES ME SAD. WE SHOULD DATE AND SPEND ALL THIS TIME WE HAVE TALKING OR HANGING OUT TOGETHER. WE SHOULD DATE. YOU ARE PERFECT TO ME AND I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE SO STOP BEING SO SHY AND ASK ME OUT i mean only of you like me too that would be pretty rad

I don’t get it. One minute you say you think sex is gross and then the next you say “Oh, the things I would do to him”… What. Who are you?